Our Bilingual Journey

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You would think I would have been the one to push for raising our children to be bilingual, as the French teacher. Nope. It was my husband. He asked me several times during my pregnancy with our first child, “You’re going to speak French to the baby, right?” I would hem and haw and eventually agreed to it. Well, why would one hesitate? It’s a gift! You’re giving the gift of speaking and understanding a language! The benefits to your brain! How this could render oneself unique!

So why question it?

As with any parenting decision, there are positive and negative connotations. I was hearing the negatives.

It was like with putting my second baby down “drowsy but awake” – I’m going to decide to do this, be smart about it, and make it work. And so I did. Have I faced blunders? Absolutely. But I did my research – aside from Dr. Google, I read 2 books and spoke to several parents who did it or are doing it firsthand. And here is what I’ve learned from the so-called “myths”, fears, and misconceptions listed below:

  • Embarrassment: French in front of Anglophones and strangers in public
    • I learned simply not to care! If people find it weird…let them! I’ve seen my son developing in 2 languages, that benefit by far outweighs any embarrassment I may feel. This has been the hardest thing for me, if I had to pick.
  • But mommy…you speak English, too?
    • I’m sure he’s picked up on the fact that I speak both. So far, not a problem. Will it become a problem? Just like with potty-training, behavior-learning, etc… if we need to cross that bridge, we’ll learn how to.
  • Je ne veux pas! I don’t want to! Time to throw a fit now.
    • Toddler, throwing a fit? Never heard of such an atrocity. As my Spanish-speaking friend said regarding meltdowns with her 3 toddlers, “Has one of them been about Spanish.. yes… has it been insisting she puts on shoes… yes…. has it been sleeping, eating more veggies, buckling her seatbelt or not sticking her hands in her diapers… all of the above!!”
  • Baby slow in both languages – are you confusing them?
    • Because it is a LOT for the brain to take in 2 languages at once; yes, progress will be slow versus learning only one at a time. Our pediatrician said that by the age of 5, he will be caught up in both. To me, it’s worth being a hair under the current lingual milestone. There is also a term called “code-switching”, where children use both languages in a sentence. This is normal and not a confusion. Often times, they opt for the easier word in whatever language that is. I’ve noticed he will choose the word that’s easier in either English or French. Example: English “hi” is easier than the French “bonjour”. French “coucou” is easier than the English “peek-a-boo”.

 

The positives that keep me on the bilingual path

  • His comprehension is through the roof!
    • I can ask him to do virtually anything in French, and he’ll do it.
  • He’s starting to actually speak it!
    • This is the second logical step in learning a language. Comprehension first, speaking second. I can’t stress how proud and accomplished I feel when he says something to me in French!
  • Most of his lingual milestones are met.
    • He isn’t forming “complete sentences” yet, which can also be normal for many under 2 monolingual babies. To me, the wait is worth it, and he is otherwise great!
  • Our bond feels stronger because of it.
    • Bond is a hard thing to convey in words…but French fosters the special relationship that we have. He has a special perk to him when I speak in French to him, versus if I’m speaking English to someone else nearby that he hears. I can’t quite explain it.

  • The fun!
    • Simply put; it’s an overall fun experience!
  • Talking about dad in front of him…
    • Kind of a joke, kind of not. More seriously, though, it is fun to have a secret language between the 2 of you. And something beyond Ubbi Dubbi.
  • Keeps me up on my French
    • In my job, it’s important I can easily speak French. I often found that after vacation, coming back to work was mentally taxing. Now, I don’t have that issue.
  • My husband picks up on the French
    • It’s getting hard to mumble behind dad’s back now. Sarcasm aside, it’s good for his brain, too!

So how do you do it?

Simple: speak the target language all day, every day! Read books in that language! Watch movies in that language! Play games!

In closing: from my son, “oh vwa” (au revoir), readers.

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Emily
Emily was born and raised in Niagara, Wisconsin. She moved to De Pere to attend Saint Norbert College to pursue a career in French education. Shortly after graduating, she started a French teaching job in Howard-Suamico School District. There, she met her husband, Aaron Yonke. Together they have two children, Harrison (March 2015) and Benjamin (September 2016), and don’t forget their cat, Walter George! She speaks only French with her two boys (and sometimes her husband and cat, too!).  In her spare time, Emily enjoys reading, cooking, shopping, traveling, and spending time with her family.