I know what you’re going to say about boudoir.
I could never look as amazing as the women I see in those photos.
It seems selfish to spend that much time and money on myself.
I’d need to lose weight first, wait until my skin clears up, etc.
Insert more negative self-talk here.
I know what you’re going to say because I’ve said the same things myself. While there are endless reasons to talk yourself out of doing a boudoir session, I’m here to share some reasons why I personally found it to be worth it. And this is coming from someone who booked a session pre-wedding, had the horror-story experience you’re probably fearing, and rallied to give it another try. Let me tell you, friends, it was 100% worth it. Read on for my top 5 reasons why you should book your own session, instead of putting it off until who knows when.
#1: Find the right photographer
So, I did a boudoir session prior to getting married and it didn’t turn out quite like I had hoped. My biggest advice is to research the work of the photographer you have in mind. Do you like their style? Do you like the energy that they put into their sessions? And, most importantly, can you trust them as a professional? Looking for a photographer whose vibe you love will go a long way towards a positive experience.
After my lackluster first session, I was hesitant to ever do it again. I found a photographer I really admired on social media, and “watched from afar” for a long time before booking. I saw the care she put into each session and loved her theme of female empowerment. I also loved her style and encouragement of all of her clients. It made it easy to take a leap of faith, knowing how the experience would play out and what the photos would look like.
You deserve to be pampered. Plain and simple. As women, we often spend so much of our time tending to other people’s needs, we neglect our own. A boudoir session gives you a chance to feel like a celebrity for a day and gives you a self-esteem and confidence boost. We don’t often take the time to prioritize ourselves, but it’s absolutely worth it.
Boudoir should be an experience. My second session started with a professional makeup application, which was one of my favorite parts since I opted to do my own makeup for my wedding, and having it done was a treat. After that, my hair was done, lashes put on (game changer!), and it was time to play dress up. My photographer had an incredible range of pieces in her client closet, including shoes. I liked that she had a range of sizes and styles, so I didn’t necessarily have to buy a lot of new outfits.
#3: Push past your comfort zone
It has been said that “a comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” And for me personally, there’s a lot of truth in that statement. We all have our safe space. Maybe it’s a role we’ve stepped into, like motherhood, that (at least for now) completely defines us. Maybe it’s a career that we give everything to, or a cause we feel passionate about. Whatever it is, every once in a while it’s worth pausing and taking a step outside the norm.
One of my biggest worries was knowing how to pose. I am not a model by any means and don’t know what looks good on camera. This is one of the times where trust in your photographer comes in. They will know how to create flattering poses and guide you in the right direction.
There were many excuses that stopped me from trying a boudoir session again. Many of them were about how I saw myself. My midsection isn’t as flat as it used to be, since having two kids. I’ve struggled with acne since I was a teenager. I’m too small on top.
And for all of these reasons not to, what I liked most about my photographer was the encouragement to see them for what they were: ridiculous. There’s not a woman in the world without insecurities. We are our own worst critics. It’s important to look past that, and dig deeper to experience self-confidence.
#5: Do it for the right reasons
It’s fair to say that boudoir photos can make a great gift, for you or a loved one. But your heart could sink if your partner isn’t really into the idea of the photos in the first place. For me, it was important to realize that this day was 100% for me. Because I felt that I was worth the time, and I wanted the photos for myself and no one else. Boudoir is first and foremost all about you, and someone else’s opinion shouldn’t factor into the experience.
My favorite lesson from boudoir is this: What matters most is not how the world sees me, but how I see myself. The photos are a reminder of my confident self, on days when I’m still in leggings, a sweatshirt, and a messy bun. That’s me, most days. But it’s amazing to have a reminder that I’m more than that, too. I finally see it, thanks to giving the experience of boudoir a second chance.