Confession: I do not write New Year’s Resolutions or goals.
I mean sure, I have big-picture ideas and things that I strive for, but just the thought of writing goals makes my chest tighten up. I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because, to me, it’s unrealistic to say I am going to do something by this date. Life happens. Things change. I don’t want to feel like I am failing at something because I am living my life.
This is also why I have never, ever, ever considered New Year’s resolutions. I just think it’s silly to say “I am going to exercise five times every week.” I already know when I write it down that I am going to fail. Because life happens. I know I am going to get sick at some point. I know that I will have weeks in my future that I am going to be so busy that I will just be satisfied with eating dinner at home. Finding time to exercise five times every week just isn’t realistic for me. Yes, I know I could adjust my goal to be more realistic, but I still feel like there is this huge ability to fail.
Writing goals and New Year’s resolutions, even fairly realistic ones, makes me feel like I am just setting myself up for failure.
Openly admitting that feels odd, too. I’ve been told by many leaders and teachers that goals are essential, but I’ve just never felt that applied to me. In fact, there are people who make a living on teaching others how to write goals. There are whole businesses built off the concept of goal building and I am sure we’ve all seen the fancy graphics shared via social media with the feel-good, motivating words about creating goals.
That stuff is just not me and I know that I cannot be the only one that feels this way.
Now that I’ve put it all out there, I have to say that I also admit that last year I caved to the pressure of New Year’s resolutions and I wrote down some things at the beginning of the year that I wanted to work on. They weren’t goals because they weren’t specific with a timeline. Really, they were just ideas of things that I wanted to do more of in 2019.
I will share some of my list with you:
- Read more
- Be more patient with my daughter
- Eat healthier and get on top of meal planning
- Find time for my own hobbies
Because of my unspecific list, I have crushed it. I have been successful at everything I wanted to focus on. Because it wasn’t specific, I know that I read more for pleasure this year than I have in a long time. I knew I couldn’t read a book every month, so a broad “read more” sufficed.
I did want to write my list down so I could reference it throughout the year and remind myself of what I wanted to focus on. I totally plan on doing this form of New Year’s resolutions again for 2020.
Honestly, maybe this is goal writing, but less intense? I am not sure, but it feels good to look back at that list now that 2019 is coming to an end. I guess what I am trying to say is if you’re like me and the very thought of having to sit down and write New Year’s resolutions for an entire year gives you heart palpitations, try revising your thinking. Think wider and broader. Jot down some things you’d like to focus on and leave it at that.
I do not write goals and I have been successful without doing so. So, fellow mamas, cheers to finding new ways to focus on New Year’s resolutions without creating anxiety or setting yourself up for failure.
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Great thoughts here! You are definitely onto something about this “goals” word being a pang in the heart or gut. Yuck! We are all different, and motivated by different things, and often there can an assumption or set-up for failure when there is a “finish line”. A finish line Mark’s a stopping point, and when we stop, we must start over, and starting over is HARD.. harder than continuing. You’re right in that with a new calendar year, we might feel a sense of trying new things, getting a fresh start and even try to adapt new habits to better ourselves in the long term.. big picture, as you said. And the best way to do this (because it’s SO important to be striving to be our best selves) is to know ourselves.. our tendencies, know how we are motivated, and like you said, be realistic! We’re all different, and “goal lists” probably sound outdated to many more than you think! You are not alone! Thanks for this ?
great job!
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