Embracing Your Strong Will… But Keeping My Sanity

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While up north this summer, we had a very humorous start to a family meal.  My husband and I just chuckled  because what we use all the time to keep our sanity had trickled down to our kids.   It’s always funny to hear your children acting exactly like you, and maybe a little scary too!

My two year old daughter didn’t want to sit down to the picnic table to eat. She wanted to ride her bike instead.  So she stood in my parents’ storage shed yelling for us to come get the bike out.  We, of course, kept asking her to come out for dinner.

My four year old son went into the shed.  We could hear the entire conversation.  He proceeded to say, “Ava, you have two choices.  You can stay in the shed yelling or you can come out and eat. Got it?”    After a few minutes of negotiation between a two and four year old, they both came marching out. Ava stated, “Two choices.  Shed or eat.  My eat.”

Choices have literally saved us in our home.

I have two stubborn, strong-willed children (they get it from me, so I only have myself to blame).  There are so many wonderful qualities of my adorable kids, but they have a strong will.   I appreciate their personalities but it can make the simplest tasks impossible.   They have to feel some sense of ownership and power in what is happening, but I am still the parent in charge.  So giving them choices throughout their day is our solution.  It seems simple enough and I know many others do this as well, but we really make a conscious effort to use them all the time.   These are common conversations in our house:

“Do you want to brush your teeth or get on your pajamas?

“Do you want to eat your corn or your potatoes?”

“Do you want to play outside on your swing set or play with chalk?”

Both are things that need to get done in most cases, but this way they have some say into what is happening in their world.  And it works.  Sure, we still have tantrums. Yes, there are many times when  my two year old yells, “No” to both choices or it takes FOREVER.  But we stay consistent and stand firm on the choices they are given.  My kids both know that those are their only options so they might as well choose.

It took awhile for my husband to get use it, but he has totally bought into it.  And to hear your four year old use it is both adorable and rewarding knowing it has sunk in with him!  I can only imagine what his preschool conversations are like when I’m not there. I know choices may not work for all, but it sure has saved our sanity!    There are these rare times, too, when they are easy-going angels.

They can be easy going angels

If you are having daily battles, this may work for you too!  Do you use choices in your home? I’d love to know how it works for you!

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Stephanie
Stephanie was born and raised in the Green Bay area. After meeting her husband Tom at UWSP while earning a degree in elementary education, they returned to the area to start their family and careers. Stephanie has been blessed with two outgoing and entertaining children - Landon and Ava. Teaching third grade keeps her plenty busy during the school year but she couldn’t imagine doing anything else! When she’s not at school, Stephanie loves to read, cook (and pretend to be a Masterchef), spend time in Door Co with family and craft/DIY. Her favorite thing in the world is to take her kids to free adventures all around town (or find a great deal while shopping her with her mom!) Literacy is a true passion of Stephanie’s which inspired her to also start her own business with Usborne Books & More!