“Mean Mom” Moments

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People learn lessons in many ways. Some learn by the mistakes of others and some by reading or listening to a lesson. But most people have learned their best lessons from the experiences they’ve endured.

One of my responsibilities as a mom is to not take those experiences away from my children by helping them too much. I have a laid back and fun-loving personality. Conflict is my worst enemy. I love my children and don’t want them to think of me as a mean mom. And, I definitely don’t want to feel like a mean mom. But sometimes being perceived as a “mean mom” when I am teaching a lesson is necessary. My primary goal as a parent isn’t to raise happy children. It is teach them what skills they will need as adults.

My “Mean Mom” Moments:

A few years back, I had one of my most memorable “mean mom” moments. We have a rule that each morning the boys are to clean their room. For a few months they started pushing back and playing with toys instead of cleaning up. I would try to help them clean up only to be the only one cleaning. Frustration was at an all time high. I was so tired of yelling at them to clean. What could I do to shock them into realizing what needed to be done? I walked into their room with a big laundry basket and took all their toys away. Yes, ALL their toys! In order to earn them back they needed to prove to me that they could pick up their room on their own. They learned that lesson quickly!

Mean mom” strikes again during school. On Tuesdays we meet with a homeschool community. Our kids have to give a presentation each week. I ask my boys about what they are going to discuss multiple times every week. Yet, some weeks they don’t prepare for them. They procrastinate on picking a topic until the morning of the presentation.  Sure, I feel bad that they don’t have much or anything prepared, but I cannot do their work for them. At some point they need to take responsibility for doing the actual presentation.

As I am writing this post, my oldest child believes I am a “mean mom.”  I am teaching my children to put things back where they belong. Every day we waste time searching for school books, rulers, shoes and other items that are not in their place. For weeks I have helped my kids out by looking with them or suggesting where to look for the missing items. My son has started to expect that I will give him the answers. Today, I am choosing to have him search on his own. If he doesn’t find it he can’t get his school work done, which means he loses privileges. I am hoping that this lesson is learned quickly…

As I look back at my “mean mom” moments, I realize that it is okay to be a “mean mom” sometimes.  It can teach skills such as personal discipline and responsibility. What lessons have you learned or taught through experiences?

 

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