Currently, I am working twoish jobs, sometimes three, going to school for my Bachelor’s in Nursing, and most importantly I am a wife and mother. Am I doing enough? Whenever I meet people and backgrounds are discussed I am often met with a “Wow!! You have a full plate.” or “You are one busy lady!”
My insides are often screaming with the need to slow down and breathe, but my mind still says, is it enough? How do you “earn your keep as a woman, mother, wife, professional?” I know I am not the only one out here that lives this way.
I use the term “earn your keep” obviously as an expectation I place on myself. At no point in time has anyone in my life placed those expectations on me. I think that may be worse. When we set those expectations for ourselves it is often without a benchmark or goal to meet.
I find myself frustrated often with the amount of time I spend rushing from one thing to another or the lack of time I can spend on one experience. Instances are met superficially or without full attention.
I am lucky to have a supportive spouse or the amount of overbooking I do would not be possible. When I do set goals to meet in order to slow my pace they are often in the distant future, by the time I get there, I forget to slow down. This is okay, right? We live in a culture where being busy or doing enough is a badge of honor. Slowing down is tantamount to sloth.
Even though my family suffers and I suffer from my pace continues. Lately, usually around 3 am, I have pondered what it is about being busy that makes me more comfortable than having a moment of relief.
Then it struck me.
When I am not busy, I have to contemplate things at a deeper level, this is more frightening than running out of time. It is during these instances where I have time to reflect. Quietly, I acknowledge that doing enough is a limit I put on myself and not necessarily a standard that I must meet to earn the respect of my family and friends. To those who truly care, I am already enough.
Busy mom? Feel like you are not doing enough? Here is a great article from Laura on how to shift your focus for mindful meditation.
