Is there a piece of parenting advice that you were given that was so powerful that you could use it as your guiding light? Did that piece of parenting advice later shape your own parenting mantra?
For me, that nugget was introduced to me when my oldest daughter was a baby. As new parents, my husband and I were struggling with making a decision that we knew would not be a popular choice to others. To be honest, I cannot remember the situation but I do remember what my mother told me in response to the situation:
It is important to listen to your gut on what feels right because if you go against your gut and something happens to your children as a result, you will never forgive yourself.
While that statement is simple in its message, that conversation had a lasting impact on me and I have used that nugget of parenting advice as my guiding light on numerous occasions. When I reflect on the reactions or comments from others as a result of a decision I made and those feelings of self-doubt creep in, I remind myself of that simple conversation and that will generally help me come back to solid ground.
My husband and I are personality types that tend to get trapped in one of two boxes: the box of trying to please others or the box of avoiding the situation (or person(s)) altogether. Outcomes of going into those boxes tend to be: resentment toward the person(s) who are making things difficult for us or self-exclusion from event(s) or person(s) we may otherwise have been involved. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who isn’t supportive?
So what’s the next step? In reflecting on those people, we determined that maybe some of those relationships were meant to be outgrown and we move on; however, some relationships are not easy to dissolve (or we simply don’t want to end the relationship).
It’s through our journey of personal growth, and the realization that some relationships are here to stay, that I have noticed the piece of parenting advice from my mother has helped drive my and my husband’s own parenting mantra: “own it.”
Be an advocate for your child and own your decision.
We have to have the courage and confidence to own the decisions we make for our children and try our best to shake off or confront self-doubt and unsolicited opinions from others. We know what is best for our children and no one knows our children like we do. Unsupportive family and friends aren’t going away so we need to continue to do what we’re doing, regardless.
Parenting is difficult. Having a mantra has helped me, and may help you, to return to solid ground and remind yourself…
You’ve Got This!
What’s your parenting mantra?? Tell us in the comments!!
